Posted by Hardy Parkerson, J.D. on 4/12/13

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Franceschi's Nightmare

by Professor Hardy Parkerson, J.D. [originally posted on
11/08/10]

At 57 Fed. 3d at 828,
A Federal case of recent date,
Franceschi, Bar Number 112893.
Went to court and made his plea.
When he arrived in city court,
To the Commissioner he did report;
And when the Judge asked, "How'd you arrive?"
Franceschi replied that he did drive;
But sensing he was in a bind,
He pled the Fifth, which came to mind;
And smelling trouble, Franceschi moved
To have the sitting Judge recused.
Whereupon the Judge did say,
"Let a bench warrant issue this very day!
For your license has been suspended,
And your freedom now is ended."
Franceschi tried to write a check
To post a bond to save his neck;
To which the Judge said in a dash,
"We don't take checks, you must pay cash."
And so arose Franceschi's hackles,
As they led him away to jail in shackels.
With Franceschi things weren't going well,
And so he spent the night in jail;
And though in jail he wasn't singin',
Franceschi came out of jail a-swingin'.
He filed a suit that very night
For violation of his Civil Rights.
He sued 'em all to make ' em pay.
"What goes 'round comes 'round," he'd say.
And through the courts his case made way,
Until it was dismissed one day.
Franceschi couldn't clear his name,
For he had failed to state a claim.
For to do as he pleases a judge is free,
For he has judicial immunity.
And since he'd failed to maintain his pleas,
Franceschi was cast for attorney fees.'
Which really made Franceschi holler,
For they were over ten thousand dollars.
Franceschi said, "I'll prevail still,
And to the Ninth Circuit I shall appeal."
But at the Ninth Circuit he argued and squirmed,
Only to have the decision affirmed.
The Ninth dismissed his appeal like a breeze,
And cast Franceschi for more attorney fees;
And what a blow poor Franceschi was handed,
When for the fixing of fees his case was remanded!

Author notes:

There is a Latin maxim that poets are allowed to lie
(POETIS MENTIRI LICET.) However, this poem is almost
perfectly true. If you don't believe it, read the case
found in volume 57 FEDERAL REPORTER 3d Series, at page 828.
Franceschi is a colorful and famous California lawyer. I
once sent him a copy of this poem and then called him to
discuss it with him. I do not know that he appreciated the
poem, but he did tell me that although this case had cost
him much money, that the publicity that he gained from it
in the news brought him so much new business that in the
long-run he really profited from this case. He said that
the view that many of the general public readers of the
newspapers had gotten was that he was a real figher and did
not mind bucking the system when necessary; and they were
looking for that kind of a lawyer. Franceschi's full name
is Ernest Franceschi, and he has a brother John Franceschi
who is a lawyer in one of the mid-western states. His
brother John saw my poem on the internet once and contacted
me by e-mail and told me that he had shown a copy of it to
their mother, who, I am very sure is very proud of both of
her sons. I am also a lawyer, and Ernie Franceschi as a
lawyer is a man after my own heart. He's my kind of a
lawyer!

Sincerely,

Hardy Parkerson, Atty.
(Retired, after 41 years at the Bar)
Lake Charles, LA

A Man After My Own Heart - FRANCESCHI, 4/12/13, by Hardy Parkerson, J.D..

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