Re: I need help with a juvinile delinquent

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The way that you write this question makes it sound like you
are thinking the most direct way to solve your problem is law
enforcement -- i.e., getting the probation officer to
recognize the problems and take action against your son. You
sound like you are pretty frustrated with the whole situation,
since you mention you have been having problems with this
child since 3rd grade and that the child has harmed other
loved ones.

Don't lose sight of the fact that this is your child and that
really the main concern is to protect your child and educate
him. It sounds like a main part of protecting him right now
is protecting him from himself. You have to get to the bottom
of WHY he is doing these things and find out what it takes to
teach him that he is just harming himself as well as others.
Is he the kind of child that just needs a good scare to get it
through his head that the life he is leading is wrong? If the
answer to this question is "no," then law enforcement is not a
good place to look for a solution. Unless you know your son
and beleive that being threatened with jail is going to
miraculously make him straighten up and fly right, then you
need to explore other possible solutions.

For example, are there drugs involved? If so, what can be
done to get him off the drugs? Drive him to NA? Have a
family member who is in recovery talk to him? Have one of
those 'family interventions' that the drug counselors
recommend? Search his things and take his drugs whenever
possible? Give him gift certificates for clothes and food
instead of cash so he can't buy drugs with your cash?

Or, does he have learning difficulties or emotional
difficulties? You mention he has been having difficulties
from a young age . . . does he need medication for ADD or some
other mental condition? Can he get an evaluation of learning
difficulties through the school maybe? Can you talk to a
psychologist through a community health center or something?

Basically, it sounds like time is running out. The older he
gets and the further he gets involved in his ways, the more
difficult it is going to be for anyone to get through to him.
He may end up in and out of the prison system, causing shame
and harm to himself and to the rest of the family. It is too
risky to rely on law enforcement to help you with this
problem. You should be as active as possible and do
everything you can to save your son. It sounds like you are
rightfully very frustrated already and that your loyalty to
him is compromised because he has harmed your other loved
ones. But he is your son, your responsibility, and you love
him. Don't let time run out. Do everything you can. Good luck.

On 4/22/03, unfortunate wrote:
> I'm looking to hear from anyone who can help me. The
> juvinile is severlly out of control. he attacke his
> father and hurts other family members. His probation
> officer is allowing him to get away with anything and
> everthing. He just ran away. They were informed and a
> police report was filed, when he went to go report his
> P.O. just brought him home. We have had trouble with this
> child from 3rd grade to the present. He has been on
> probation as of 1999. For the past four years nothing is
> getting done where can I go for help. We live in Texas.