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Re: DYFS degenerates
Posted by Raynne on 8/11/06
I agree that DYFS needs some serious changes - they have a good intention and there are a lot of cities in jersey where the children are in danger. However, there are a lot of "children" who work for them. Having a passion for helping people should not mean you are qualified to deal with the daily agony these workers deal with on a daily basis. You should be well educated and preferably be a parent. I have noticed that those without children - just toss your case around without care, because they just dont understand what tearing apart a family can do. Dyfs workers have access to tons of programs - and they dont even use half of them. They are too focused on what their job is "to protect the welfare of the child" - that they are so blinded on how to actually do their job. I have been involved on both ends of dyfs - both as the one being concerned about and being the one being hounded by. When they were caring for me, it was a different time and the people who worked there actually cared about the person and not the case, when they didn't have a desk full of papers of cases they either couldnt handle or get to in time. Now - things are so different. Dyfs is unorganized, nobody knows what the other hand is doing, they always have to get second opinions or they cant even answer a single question without having to talk to someone else. Why are these people who are so unknowledgeable put in charge of peoples lives? Because they are so overworked, your case will get shuffled around and it will take forever to find out any truths (provided they are even looking), and they just wont have time to even talk to you to find out whats going on. They dont want to hear anything you have to say, all they care about is what they are being told to do. Think of them all as puppets who only know how to go forward when they are being told to by someone else. I don't know about you - but that scares the hell out of me. Knowing that my kids future and my own are in the hands of someone who doesnt have the time or the resources to treat the case properly. They will try to keep your case open as long as possible, even when there is no reason to - and its probably not so that they can keep an eye on the child, but because it gives them more time to get involved in your case and find the errors they made in the beginning (all the while your life is still turned upside down with no changes in sight). I have to reply to the dyfs worker who blew up at the other guy - I mean I can understand you are upset because you are a dyfs worker - but dont wear your heart on your sleeve. And I have to say that just because an allegation was made - doesnt mean that something happened. There are false allegations all the time made by both children and their friends and neighbors..etc. It happens when people are so nosy to butt into your life but wont get nosy enough to find out what the hell is going on in your family. So they send the state in, thinking they are doing something good - and that family's life is now turned upside down. They have to go through an appeal process so that any abuse that was allegated is not on your record (because that affects your employment). Not counting if the case goes to the courts for anything. Try affording a lawyer in the state of NEW JERSEY or even one that will deal with DYFS. They have to go to counseling, they have to get counseling for their child, they have to pray that their child will tell the truth or that their childs answer will be believed. There are plenty of dyfs workers out there who only believe what they are told and automatically assume that the child is lying because they are told to and then they dig further into your lives trying to find something to grab a hold of to prove that they are right. Because god knows the state cant be wrong. They will search and search until they find 1 single piece of something that doesnt exist but is able to be transformed into what they want so they dont look stupid. The whole time they are doing this - they are threatening to take your child away, or they do take your child away. Do you know how torturing it is to the child and the parent to only be able to have a 1 hour visit per week with your child that is supervised in a tiny room with no windows when you are guilty of nothing? They dont care - its their job, its what their supervisor allowed them to do. Now I am not saying that dyfs isnt being caring, only that they are being overprotective of children they shouldnt be and not protective enough of ones that need it. I have seen children who have been abused - only for the kids to remain at home and the cases be dropped. And I have seen children who were not abused and the case remains open for years because they dont want to look like an ass. Dyfs has the scary control over the custody of your child, the residence of your child, anything at all - they only have to request it and a judge will grant it. Why is there no hearing, why are the parents not allowed to go? Why is it so easy for a dyfs worker who just feels like "oh well i dont see anything going on and we will just remove the child to be sure" and they go and get a judge and within days you lose your child and your rights as a parent. They will tell you, oh no you are their parent but you do not have custody. Ok so what does that mean? My name is on the birth certificate - is that the only right I have to the child now...because everything else has to go through a dyfs worker. Mind you - all of this ranting is not my situation - part of it is mine, and part of it is what i've seen. While DYFS is a good idea, the people they have working for them are a majority ridiculous. Now there are some workers that yes - care deeply and try their best. But if you work for dyfs - be realistic...no matter how much you care about the case or feel it when you go home....you are overworked and overwhelmed and there is no possible way that you are unbiased to anything and can properly control anything you have on your desk. If the state took the time to educate you properly and allowed you to make full use of the programs that the tax payers pay for, maybe you would have more control and the outcomes would be based on something more accurate and not just a hunch or some strangers word. So while I feel for some of the people employed at DYFS - I despise the division as a whole (as it stands today) and the people who work for them and dont stand up for anything and act only as puppets to another uneducated person who is only doing what they are told to do.
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