Posted by dawn hopper on 11/07/02

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My name is Dawn Hopper and I am the spouse of a Navy
military service member who is stationed on the USS
Kearsarge. I am writing this letter in hopes that someone
will listen and understand the situation my three children
and I have been put into.

September of 2001 I hired an attorney, Mr. Timothy Wade
Roof, to represent myself and my children in a
custody/divorce case. Since that time we have been to
court at least a dozen times divided between
Juvenile/Domestic and the Circuit Courts of Norfolk. As of
today, October 15,2002 I have only been awarded temporary
custody of the marriages three children and there has been
no court ordered support as of today .

My children and I resided in Willoughby Military Housing in
the city of Norfolk. Since the beginning of 2002 we had
several calls to the NOB base police to our home for
altercations and disturbances between my husband and I
because of screaming and yelling and things being broken on
his part.
In January 2002 there was a call to the base police
because of an argument in which he informed my daughter and
I that he was taking our sons out dinner but did not bring
them home until the next morning. When I informed him that
I was upset for worrying our daughter and myself by not
letting us know where he was for the evening he became
irrate and locked our sons in his vehicle so that I could
not have access to them. When I tried to get them out of
his vehicle he proceeded to push and hit me. By the time
the base police had arrived we were in our home where he
once again had denied my access to our sons. I was kneed in
the arm and had my hair pulled but the police did nothing
but talk to each of us separately and then left. I went to
file charges at the magistrates office for the assault and
was sent away being told there wasnt enough proof to press
charges.

There were other incidences in which the NOB Norfolk police
where called to the home but they turned the other cheek by
just talking to him and then leaving. On March 19,2002 my
husband and I had gotten into another altercation in which
I questioned his judgement on leaving our daughter at home
alone while she was ill , so he could take our sons out to
dinner. In the altercation I was kept from having access to
our daughter, and then I was forcefully pushed into a
dresser in the master bedroom that stood no more than 10
feet from where I was standing . The base police where
called and my husband was arrested and a restraining order
was put into place and then later convicted of the assault
charge. In late May of 2002 we were informed that we were
being removed from our home because of the removal of my
husband. The rule for military housing says "if the service
member is no longer residing in the home the family must
leave also ". We were notified that we had to vacate by
June 21, 2002 by 5:30pm . In the time between being
notified of our removal and the time we actually left we
had been to court for support for the three children but
once again it was continued with nothing being resolved .

Before my children and I were removed from our home my
husbands command, the USS Kearsarge, had told me that they
had come up with their numbers as far as support for the
children goes and told me to come pick up a letter stating
so. So my daughter and I had gone up to the ship and when
we got there were told the letter was not ready. After
about an hour I had the guards at the pier call up to the
quarterdeck again and they told me that they were still
working on it. After several calls to the ship from a
carrier in the next pier , a master chief finally came down
to speak with me and let me know it was almost done , then
he left towards the ship. After waiting on the pier for 5
hours in 98 degree weather they finally showed up with the
letter we had been waiting for , and when I refused to sign
it before my attorney had a chance to read it they took it
away from me and walked off back to the ship.

On June 21,2002 at 3:30 pm i recieved a phone call at my
friend's house stating that the lawyers had come to an
agreement. My attorney , Mr. Roof knew that my children and
I didnt have the money to get a place to live and not much
to be able to move out of the housing complex with because
my husband had only been paying his children a very small
amount of money each military pay day. Once I made it to
Mr. Roof's office the agreement I was to sign was sugar
coated by Mr. Roof himself to make it sound like a good
deal. He told me that I had won, I had my kids. I was told
by Mr. Roof that in order to get money to help us move out
I would have to sign the agreement and if I chose not to
the check would be returned to my husband.
I went to my husbands command , the USS Kearsarge, for
help , on several occasions and was constantly being told
that my husband was doing his part by having the home we
had and were about to be removed from. I was told by Master
chiefs in my husbands department that he would be recieving
his military housing allowance on the day we left the home.

Within the first few days after we were removed from our
home I sat down and read the agreement that I had signed
several times and had taken down two full pages of notes as
to the points I disagreed with. I had held onto the check
for almost a month and then when we had another
continuance Mr. Roof told me to cash the check so as my
kids would have some money for the things they needed . On
that note I asked Mr. Roof to write me a letter in stating
that I was given permission to cash the check and it
wouldnt affect my disagreement with the agreement. I
repeatedly asked him for the letter but I have never
recieved it as of yet.

A few more months had gone by and more continuances from
the Norfolk circuit court for one reason or another. Since
June when were removed from our home the children and I
have been staying with a friend of mine and sleeping on the
floor with blankets and pillows. We have been given the
runaround by the Norfolk social services department, the
USS Kearsarge, and the Norfolk court system. Everyone I
have spoken to about getting help for my children and I
have all given me the same answer, "I'm sorry we cannot
help you, your husband earns too much money ".

We were in court on September 27,2002 and the judge at
Circuit Court ordered that the child support be brought up
to state guidelines. In doing some investigating myself
once again , I found out that a support order was never
entered into the courts. So once again he is not being
forced to hold up to his responsibilities as a father.

Over the past year we have been given the runaround ,
deceived, and lied to by Mr. Roof, the United States Navy,
social services in the city of Norfolk, and the list goes
on .

My children have been without their belongings except for a
few items of clothing since June. They have been let down
and neglected by the legal system which is supposed to be
there to protect them and take care of them. The Navy gives
people the impression that they are there to help the
families of the service members and I thank the few people
at the Navy Family Advocacy center on Naval Base Norfolk
but that is as far as I can go . Our daughter is now in
counseling and has physcological problems and her grades
are slipping in school because I have to hold down two jobs
just to put food in their stomachs and clothes on their
backs. Yet still even with the child support supposedly
raised and my husbands lack of responsibilities we are no
closer to any help than we were before we went to court.

Yesterday October 30th, 2002 my husband recieved custody of
my three kids because of the curcumstances of which my
children and I were put into. My children and I know for a
fact he lied under oath. I think it is very wrong to give
someone who has a record of family abuse , a DUI , and a
visit to a Physc. ward for a suicide attempt custody of
three small children. I think there is something seriously
wrong with this picture and I and others that know about my
case think the same also , we believe that the USS
Kearsarge had something to do with this happening to myself
and my children.

All I can possibly say is that I really feel for the
housewifes of Virginia if they are not happy in their
marriages. What I have learned from dealing with the Navy ,
the Norfolk Court system is that if you arent cold hearted
and uncaring for your children then a housewife has no
chance in the world of keeping her children, even the
working ones. That is a very very sad state for women to be
in. I work during school hours so I am able to be there for
my kids when they return home but that is obviously not
good enough for the state of Virginia. I have learned that
in order to keep the children a woman carried and nurtured
from birth on they must be magicians and hold down a high
paying job and still be able to be there when the chiklren
come home from school. All I can say now is that I did my
best to protect my children from the violence and alcohol
that my husband brought into our home and recieved no help
whatsoever from the state itself , the court system , the
Navy, and social services in Norfolk. I am very angry and
very hurt that I tried to protect my children and recieved
cold shoulders. Now my three children are in a home which
they do not want to be in and have expressed that to family
members and friends.

Thank you for your time ,

Re: virginia legal system , 2/17/04, by Stefanie.

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