Re: has anyone experienced something similar?

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On 5/02/07, jane (in NY) wrote:
> This is what we have run into all along. Your answer is typical of
> someone who does not understand developmental disabilities. Most
> adults think a child acts out because they are delinquent.
>
> Our son has a developmental disability; he was mis-diagnosed in
second
> grade with ADHD and put on a 504 plan instead of special education.
He
> was on the 504 Plan into sixth grade and making progress when we had
a
> change in staff (new school principal). This new principal decided
our
> son didn't need "special treatment" and pulled the 504 Plan. We can
> file a 504 plan violation against the school but feel it would be
> counterproductive because we still live in the same district, have no
> plans on moving, and we will still have to deal with the same CSE
> Committee. After all, the Committee did not pull the 504 plan, the
> principal did.
>
> He went through two years of seventh grade, and 1/2 year of eighth
> grade mainstreamed. Academically he did not do well. The second half
> of eighth grade he did not attend school but was tutored for two
hours
> a day and pulled all his grades to passing. His tutors were very
> impressed with his abilities and suggested he continue in a small
> classroom setting. While he was completing his tutoring he was placed
> on PINS by the school. He did not miss any tutoring sessions nor did
> he have any behavior issues. The school psychologist suggested we get
> a neuropsych done on him because she suspected traumatic brain
injury.
> We had the eval done and he does have significant processing
problems.
>
> We then compiled an IEP for the following school year (this one). Our
> son was not labeled as TBI, he was labeled "other health impaired".
He
> started out mainstreamed, fell behind academically, and behaviorally
> started having issues like truancy. He was at school, wanted to be at
> school, but couldn't handle the large class sizes. As a result he
> started skipping classes. He would go to lunch for three periods, go
> to a class, ask to be excused and not return. We changed his schedule
> so he had two tech classes (he did very well with hands on learning),
> no math, and resource room help. If you understand what TBI
(traumatic
> brain injury) is then you would know what our son was experiencing
was
> typical of that developmental disability. The school (we thought) was
> working with us to get our son in the proper setting to be able to
> learn. BUT on PINs you cannot get any referrals from school for any
> reason. Please keep in mind I was meeting with the school regularly,
> we had weekly reports and, at times, daily communication. We even had
> the "probation officer" involved in the CSE meetings so she new what
> was going on. When he fell behind in his classwork he was written up
> (referral). The "probation officer" took that as a violation on his
> PINs petition and referred him to foster-care. After that initial
> write-up it became a free-for-all at the school. Our son has not had
> any problems with the law, his only issues were at school and
directly
> related to his developmental disability.
>
> Currently, he is in with juvenile delinquents (thieves, sexual
> deviants, drug addicts, etc) and they are not addressing his
> disability at all. This is the nightmare we are now dealing with. We
> want our son to be successful as an adult; this can only happen if he
> learns to deal with his disability. Getting labeled as a "throw away
> kid" only compounds the problem, lowers his self esteem, and in
> general makes him feel that nothing he does is good enough so why
try.
> I keep hearing about accountability but so far my son is the only one
> being held accountable for his actions. As a child with a
> developmental disability a manifestation determination should have
> been done to determine why the "behavior" was happening. It was not
> done and we are fighting an uphill battle to get it done.
>
> At our last court appearance the county said they felt our sons
> placement was not appropriate. Hello, we told them this from the
> start! We now have the advocacy center and brain injury association
> involved but that won't get our son home. I personally feel he is
> being discriminated against because of his disability and his Dad
> being overly zealous in trying to help.
>
> There must be other cases similar to this -- we find it hard to
> believe we are the only people going through this.
>
> On 4/30/07, sny wrote:
>> On 4/27/07, Carol wrote:
>>> On 4/27/07, M'sta Mikey wrote:
>>>> On 4/27/07, SNY wrote:
>>>>> On 4/27/07, jane wrote:
>>>>>> we have a teenage son who is currently in fostercare
>>>>>> because he was truant to a few classes in school. he has a
>>>>>> developmental disability but the school would not
>>>>> recognize
>>>>>> his 504 plan. they put him on a PINS diversion. of course
>>>>>> part of the PINS conditions were to not get "in trouble"
>>>>> at
>>>>>> school. when he couldn't keep up with the school work he
>>>>>> was told he was lazy and unmotivated and written up. well,
>>>>>> once we was written up he was violated on the PINS
>>>>>> diversion and put on a PINS petition. same thing happened
>>>>>> again -- still cannot keep up with the school work due to
>>>>>> the developmental disability -- so he gets violated again
>>>>>> and put into fostercare. he did not go with a family
>>>>>> member, he was put directly into a residential childrens
>>>>>> home. we have been trying for the past 3 months to get him
>>>>>> back home. he has done well in the different school
>>>>> setting
>>>>>> because the classes are much smaller and it is slower
>>>>>> paced. the County has just decided they made a mistake in
>>>>>> placing our son at the residential setting but will not
>>>>> let
>>>>>> him come home. this has been a very frustrating 8 months
>>>>>> and his dad is very angry with the situation. the County
>>>>>> has decided to use dad's anger against him and has
>>>>> conveyed
>>>>>> to us there is nothing we can do to get our son returned
>>>>> to
>>>>>> us. they are willing to give him to a family member with
>>>>>> restricted access to his dad but we find this
>>>>> unacceptable.
>>>>>> our son's home visits, to this point, have been spent with
>>>>>> us at our home, with no incidents. our lawyer keeps going
>>>>>> along with the system rather than fighting any of this.
>>>>> our
>>>>>> son's law gaurdian seems to represent the County better
>>>>>> than our son. we want to fire both and hire new to see if
>>>>>> we can get better results. has anyone experienced
>>>>> something
>>>>>> similar? the bias against the dad is palpitable in the
>>>>>> courtroom. dad has no criminal record, he is not abusive,
>>>>>> he does not drink; yet we have heard rumors that this is
>>>>>> what is being said by County workers involved in the case.
>>>>>> what can we do???
>
>>>>> I child does not violate pins because he can't keep up with
>>>>> work..you are leaving something out that he has done or did
>>>>> not do either way you want to look at at.You do dont get put
>>>>> on pins because you are truant to "a couple" of classes,this
>>>>> is for kids who CONTINUOUSLY skip school,get into
>>>>> trouble,break the law ect.You said yourself that your
>>>>> husband has shown anger so if he is having outburst then he
>>>>> is indeed showing them he has anger issues and has given
>>>>> them reason to doubt his parenting abilities.A law gaurdian
>>>>> is there for the best interest of the child and could care
>>>>> less about anything else...it's their job to do what is best
>>>>> for your child.Your son sounds like he should be in a
>>>>> special education class and most schools have them and if
>>>>> they do not they have to make arrangements for him to get
>>>>> special education it's the law in the "no child left behind"
>>>>> act.You should be having regular meetings with the school
>>>>> board and counselors to discuss his EIP or individual
>>>>> education plan...a plan set up to best address your sons
>>>>> issues to help correct them.It sounds as if you are putting
>>>>> all your sons missbehavior on his developmental dissability
>>>>> and all the problems on the teachers and court.The fact that
>>>>> you refuse to make your son take responsibility for what he
>>>>> does is part of the problem...one of the biggest parts.Legal
>>>>> advice is useless until you wake up.
>>>>
>>>> I concur and as you said, something is not being told here. My
>>>> daughter was a special needs student and was enrolled in the
>>>> appropriate EIP classes and graduated 2 years ago. She too
>>>> missed a 'few' classes but was NEVER sent to foster care,
>>>> written up, or otherwise...NEVER!
>>>>
>>>> Somethings amiss...
>>> I'm not sure what PINS is. in school suspension? alternative
>>> school? a student can't get an IEP unless s/he has a qualifying
>>> disability. OP said the child had a 504 which says he has a
>>> plan to deal with certain things but there is nothing mandatory
>>> in a 504. If the kid is truant, the court may find him/her
>>> dependant and remove from the home but I've never heard of it
>>> for only truancy, there's usually more to it than that.
>>
>> Pins is "person in need of supervision" a minor who has shown that
>> he/she cannot go through a normal childs day/life without getting
>> into trouble/skipping school ect.A child on pins is usually only
>> allowed to go to school and go home and has a curfew that cannot
>> be broken.If the child does not abide by the pins rules and
>> continue their "behaviors" then they usually end up in a foster
>> care system...it's also a reflecting statement that says "this
>> childs parents cannot control him" whether they want to or not.A
>> child is not put on pins for one or two class skippings this is
>> for kids who over time have not behaved in the appropriate manner
>> for example not attending school, stealing,running away from
>> home,breaking the law,violent acts ect.If your child has a
>> learning dissability than it will be obvious,rare is the parent
>> saying "my child has a dissability" and he is tested and he does
>> not..it is usually the opposite,a parent thinks their child is
>> fine and teachers pick up on a possible dissability and the child
>> is tested.Children can't cause trouble and then blame it on a
>> dissability all the time.Thats how you get adults who do the same
>> thing and then nobody will have to be responsable for their
>> actions,commit murder and then just say you got a LD and your
>> free.Foster care systems are overrun with kids and so they do not
>
>> add more just for kicks,a child ends up there for a reason.

Well if you refuse to move to another school than your just going to
have to live with what your current district sees fit to do.Only a
judge can order PINS so he felt your son was in need of supervision
since you could not keep him going to school.If your son was not
labeled TBI then he does not have one..unless the doctors are in on
the conspiracy also.Your son sounds to have an Auditory processing
problem which my son has and of course processing is in the brain but
it is not a injury but wrather your sons brsin has week connectors
that help him process information.It can be helped but it is important
to be in school and also for these kids it is very important for them
to to be responsible for their action as they tend to blame the world
for everything.They have to learn to slow down and think about what
consequences their actions will carry.These kids are very smart and
creative but tend to blame bad behavior on everything except
themselves."there are too many kids in the class" The teacher doesn't
like me" "the kids don't like me" "the teacher talk too fast" "I had a
headache" "My brain could'nt handle it" the list goes on.If your son
is in foster care then they feel he is better off there than at
home,your taking it personal which you should not.Sometimes helping
your kid do better means doing things that you don't like.Knowing
myself how NY law and CSP works it seems like everything sounds like
it is benifiting your child and preventing him from doing more than
just skipping school.Eventualy having a long lunch won't be enough to
occupy him and he will be getting into deeper trouble.You box yourself
and your son off by saying that nobody understands you.Your situation
is not unique or rare at all,many parents can't handle when someone
else has to step in to get their child on the right track.Sometimes
the best home for a child may not be with his parents be it short term
or long term and it has nothing to do with loving your child.