Re: unwed mothers rights vs. fathers

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"I just wanted what is best for my son. This man has 3 children and I have never
seen him take care of them. And I have just learned that he has another on the
way." Is what Krystal wrote.

Ok, I agree with you on what a parent's rights are and are not. But I also see
this woman's side and know that I am too having a hard time knowing the boy who's
the father of my unborn grandchild. If I could erase him off the face of the
earth, I would. And no, it has nothing to do with him getting my
daughter "knocked-up".

Look at it this way: would you let, say me, a total stranger raise your child?
Maybe if you knew I was a teacher in the special education department making good
money. Maybe if you knew I am very active in my church (if religion has bearing
on you). Maybe if you knew I own my own home and am a volunteer in my community.
That I have taught my own children to volunteer their time and we have family
night almost every night. Not just one day a week. My husband is in
administration at his job. Makes friends easily. Works hard. Loves his family.

Right? Easy decision? And I am not including any family you have. Say my family
was one of the last two families on earth.

Ok, then lets say the other family lives on welfare. And NO I am NOT bashing
anyone who does who legitimately need to be on it! I'm just doing a for-instance
here. Say the father of the family is more than able to work with no medical or
emotional reasons for stopping him. The mother is also more than able to work,
but claims she has a bad back and goes to doctor after doctor to try and get them
to sign off on her drawing SSI. The children are sent to school every day,
regardless of whether they are sick, or bathed, or even wearing clean clothes.
And then, you find out that the father is not the biological father of the
children and he has 3 other children whom he never sees. Never supports. And
that's the REAL reason he won't work because child support cannot be taken out of
a non-existant paycheck.

Which family would you leave your child with?

One last thing: What if I told you I would not tell your child about you until
they were older and more able to comprehend why you left it in the first place?
And the second family said, sure, I'll tell it about you. I have to, in order to
get the Social Security on it cause you died.

Which would you choose then?

P.S. I didn't mean to sound like such a snot earlier with the "Duh" I wrote to
you, and I truly, deeply apologize for it. Please forgive me.

On 1/20/09, me wrote:
>
>
>
> She is the one who made the baby with him now she has to face the fact that he
has
> rights! And FYI financial support has nothing to do with the father having
rights.
> Yes he should support his child but in the eyes of the court it is two separate
> things.
>
>
> On 1/20/09, Pamela wrote:
>> Are you kidding me? She has every right in the world to make this choice for
>> her child! If she knows he's not a good father, that he will not support her
>> child financially, why should she bring the heartache of him being worthless
>> upon herself and her child. There are several things she'll need to cover,
>> like who will get custody of her child if there is no father listed on the
>> birth certificate and explaining to the child beginning early the reasons she
>> did not include its father in its life and promise to support any decisions it
>> may make in the future to contact him, because we all know that people can
>> change. To say the least. But why on earth should this woman, knowing what
>> she knows, subject herself to the possible confrontations and court battles
>> for financial support she may endure in the future? We are to protect our
>> children, not throw them out there and hope for the best!
>>
>> And she KNOWS because she said she tested both men and the second one was
>> positive. Duh!
>>
>> To ask why she wouldn't want a child to know its father, holy cow, sounds like
>> to me that she has thought this through and is making an intelligent decision
>> based on what she knows about this man. Again, it leads to the protection of
>> her child. How many men and women do you know who have had long legal battles
>> over their children because of deadbeat moms and dads?
>>
>> When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!
>>
>> I have a 16 year old daughter who's boyfriend had been right with her every
>> step of the way, until he turned 18, now he's rarely around, out having a good
>> time with his friends. We are considering not putting him on the birth
>> certificate because my daughter has plans to become a surgeon and we don't
>> want this idiot to have control over where my daughter lives with the child in
>> case she's offered a position at a hospital across the country.
>>
>> Yeah, call me stupid. Walk in my shoes and see this boy's character and you
>> just may see what I'm seeing.
>>
>> On 12/29/08, Me wrote:
>>> So how do you know for sure he is the father? Was he tested? If he was then
>>> obviously he knows. Or are you just assuming that because the first one
>> wasn't
>>> the second must be. Just because YOU don't want anything to do with this
>>> person doesn't your/his child wouldn't. Why would you not want the child to
>>> know his father? YOU should not be making that choice!!!
>>>
>>>
>>> On 12/27/08, krystal wrote:
>>>> On 2/15/08, sharwinston wrote:
>>>>> Do about what?
>>>>> What's your issue with all of this?
>>>>> If you want nothing to do with the alleged biodad and you want him to
>>>>> have no contact with your child, then do nothing.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 2/15/08, Ashley wrote:
>>>>>> I found out I was Pregnant at 27 weeks due to a huge mistake by my
>>>>>> doctor. NO time to plan and that was very stressful much less the fact
>>>>>> my whole life changed in one doc appt. I had to think about who was
>>>>>> the father of my son and how to explain this to him. I had 2 men to
>>>>>> test. The first was not a match, the second was positive and I didn't
>>>>>> want him to have anything to do with my son. I decided not to tell
>>>>>> him, and I now I fear that I will get into trouble. I just wanted what
>>>>>> is best for my son. This man has 3 children and I have never seen him
>>>>>> take care of them. And I have just learned that he has another on the
>>>>>> way. I have excepted the fact that I am taking full responsibility for
>>>>>> my son and don't want to have to face any problems, but I need advice
>>>>>> on what to do. I am afraid to tell anyone because I don't want to mess
>>>>>> up any relationship he has with his kids, Or do I want to confront him
>>>>>> about my son, I don't feel he has the time or money to support my
>>>>>> child, nor do I need or want any help. What should I do? Please any
>>>>>> advice will do!