Re: unwed mothers rights vs. fathers

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It's not YOUR call as to what's in the best interests of the child. That's
the Court's call where the two parents cannot agree on a visitation schedule.

You were under the wrong impression. Unless your state has a law that
mandates an "adjustmetn period" (and I know of no state that has such a
law), the Court has made it's ruling, and, presuambly, it followed the law.

Generally, courts find that having both parents in the child's life is
beneficial unless there are any issues with the child's health/safety. End
of story.

On 4/16/08, Julia wrote:
> I'm not sure if any of you can assist me with this, or how your luck has
gone thus far. My
> daughter is 14 months old. Since last March, upon her fathers return from
Iraq, I have been
> attempting to get him into court for support. I fully understood this
opens his rights, but was
> under the impression that there would be some adjustment time for her.
Well on March 28, due to
> an emergency hearing, we were able to get in to court. It has been a long
messy battle, and the
> morning I went into court, he had only seen our little girl 16 times, his
mother had seen her 5
> times, there was no attempt to support her and no attempt to establish a
relationship, the
> emergency hearing was called for temporary financial relief to at least
start support. Now, our
> little girl, who all I want is what is in her best interest, and I do not
feel that taking her out of the
> only environment that she has known and away from the only people she has
known, by his
> choosing to put her in an environment that she is not familiar with, with
people that the few times
> she has seen she refuses to go to, is in her best interest, until there is
some adjustment or
> attempt to first form a bond. The 16 times he had seen her, I had to
contact him and basically
> coax him into it, and we had scheduled over 30 visits, only 16 of which he
showed for and half of
> the ones he didn't show for, he didn't even bother to call, but several of
the ones he did there was
> literally 24 hours or less notice for 95&37; of them with him asking me to
stop what I was doing so
> he could see her. I know this is a bunch of details most judges don't
want to hear, but I don't
> understand how what happened happened. We left the courtroom with the
month and a half that
> her dad is home, he gets her every afternoon when he gets off work for 4
hours and 2 weekends in
> a month and a half. I would understand this being in the babies best
interest, if he had a
> relationship with her, but it seems as though he is being pushed to do
this by his mother, who
> refuses to come see the baby even when I have invited her, but then went
to the emergency
> hearing trying to request unsupervised visits. The first day that her dad
was supposed to pick her
> up from daycare, he was 3 hours late and tried to have his mom pick her
up, which she brought in
> the court order and tried to convince the daycare that she was on the
order to pick up the baby. I
> guess there isn't much I can do about this, but I'm trying to figure out
if there is anything. He has
> had her twice now and both times she has come home a mess, she has made it
home after dinner
> time and he has said that he didn't have time to feed her. I don't
understand how this could be in
> the best interest of the child, when the child has no clue where she is
going. She is having serious
> attatchment issues in the past two days and has a fit if I am more than
about 5 ft from her, which
> is not at all like her, because she doesn't know what is going on or where
she is at. Any help or
> reference would be awesome.
>
>
>
> On 2/15/08, sharwinston wrote:
>> Do about what?
>> What's your issue with all of this?
>> If you want nothing to do with the alleged biodad and you want him to
>> have no contact with your child, then do nothing.
>>
>> On 2/15/08, Ashley wrote:
>>> I found out I was Pregnant at 27 weeks due to a huge mistake by my
>>> doctor. NO time to plan and that was very stressful much less the fact
>>> my whole life changed in one doc appt. I had to think about who was
>>> the father of my son and how to explain this to him. I had 2 men to
>>> test. The first was not a match, the second was positive and I didn't
>>> want him to have anything to do with my son. I decided not to tell
>>> him, and I now I fear that I will get into trouble. I just wanted what
>>> is best for my son. This man has 3 children and I have never seen him
>>> take care of them. And I have just learned that he has another on the
>>> way. I have excepted the fact that I am taking full responsibility for
>>> my son and don't want to have to face any problems, but I need advice
>>> on what to do. I am afraid to tell anyone because I don't want to mess
>>> up any relationship he has with his kids, Or do I want to confront him
>>> about my son, I don't feel he has the time or money to support my
>>> child, nor do I need or want any help. What should I do? Please any
>>> advice will do!
>