Re: taking the kids out of state

More | Report Post

On 7/18/08, amanda wrote:
> Paternity is established, and she has full legal, and full
> physical, with me only having visitation. But, it also says that
> she is to inform me of importation stuff going on in the
> children's lives, which she does not. and i think taking them out
> of state on vacations, i should know about prior to, not after,
in
> case of emergency. All i want is to know where they are, and a
> phone # in case.

This is an older post but I just wanted to add a comment

sharwinston is the expert here and what she posts is pretty much
gospel; who loves ya babe :-)

If you have a support/visitation/custody agreement with the court,
it should spell out issues regarding visitation. My decree states
that my ex cannot take the children out of the state or greater
than a distance of 100 miles without my notification and approval.
But you know what; it's not an issue and neither of us make it one.

Honestly, she is definitely NOT going to bring harm to the
children and neither am I. She takes them on cross-country
vacations in her motor home and the boys love it. I'm not going to
squelch that under any circumstances! She tells me that she is
going take them from Michigan to Arizona (example) and I honestly
envy them; I wish I could afford that. I could be bitter and put
up a huge stink saying that she needs MY approval but the 'green
monster of envy" has been laid to rest.

No disrespect but it's not about you, it's about the children and
what's best for them; it's what THEY enjoy!

I'm not on that power trip. From a father's point of view; the
more you pitch a b$#!%, the more she's going to push. And again,
what harm is she causing except to piss you off? Is it really
worth the grief and aggravation? The most critical question is;
how will YOU look in your children's eyes if you deny them a
vacation out of state because of your petty attitude with your ex?

Things between a divorce couple are not always a bed of roses but
don't be the thorn in their sides. I wouldn't sacrafice my
children's happiness for anything in this world... NOTHING! Be it
a mile or a thousand miles, their happiness is worth more than
mere distance on a vacation.

Bottom Line - it's not about either of you, it's about the kids.

Just my humble opinion. I'll take my ball and go home now