Re: Laws concerning a relatives (non-parent or GParent) requ

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On 1/05/09, DeeDee wrote:

I did a quick check of case law and statutory provisions for
mandatory visitation orders in NY. I didn't have a lot of time so it
is possible I missed something. I can't give you a legal opinion or
advice on this chat board as I am not licensed in NY.

That said, my personal observation is that a 27 year old non-parent
is a highly unlikely candidate for a mandatory visitation order in
any state. However, I don't know all the facts and you should not be
any more specific about your situation on this public chat board.

Of course the best advice is to get a NY attorney to help you but I
understand that may not be financially possible for you. If your
older son properly filed with the court for visitation he is may be
entitled to a hearing. An attorney could probably get it dismissed
on a pretrial (hearing) motion. You probably won't be able to get it
dismissed pre-hearing on your own.

Child custody/visitation hearings are not held under the same rules
as civil or criminal trials. They are far less formal. If you have no
choice and cannot afford an attorney, here is a possibility but this
is just a suggestion and not legal advice you should absolutely rely
on: Go to the hearing and present your side of the case in the plain
language of a mother and father concerned for their young children.
Don't try to quote law to the judge just tell your story as honestly
and as simply as possible. I wish I could do more for you.

If you regularly attend a church, discuss your situation with the
pastor/priest or other authority there and see if the church can
arrange legal assistance for you. Keep looking for legal
assistance. As for paying for counseling with your 27 year old son
to resolve the visitation matter -- that seems ridiculous. The court
apparently just suggested that so it is up to you. If the court
orders it you must comply.

>> How old is this child now? (The one seeking visitation)
>
> 27
>
>
>> Does he have a family he lives with?
>
> has an apartment with up to 3 other roommates, one of which is the
> significant other. It might be 2 roommates...I really don't know
> since my oldest decided to abruptly drop contact with us.
>
>> Does he have an attorney?
>
> Not yet, but at the last meeting, the referee advised us both to get
> attorneys. I would have no way of finding out if my oldest was going
> to bring an attorney to the next meeting.
>
>> Are there any allegations by anyone of a less than satisfactory
>> environment in your home for your children? (The ones that are
>> younger and live with you)
>
> No allegations at all, which is why I do not understand why this is
> not a cut and dry case, and why I am just sick over this and have no
> idea how to handle it. This whole situation is so odd and out of my
> realm, that I really do not know how to deal with it.
>
> My children are well adjusted, polite, kind hearted kids. You would
> be hard pressed to find any adult that has met them, to say anything
> bad about them at all. In fact, I am constantly told what lovely
> children I have. Obviously, this sounds like a proud Mama, and I
> am, but it also happens to be true.
>
>
>> How old are your younger children?
>
> 11 and 14. I thought that was old enough for them to make a
> decision as to whether or not they wanted to see their half sibling,
> but I get the feeling from the referee that those ages are too young
> and the court is the one to advise what is good for them
>