POST: Being a Mass Tort Attorney Sucks

Post: Being a Mass Tort Attorney Sucks
Posted by Withheld HAHAHA on 12/20/06

The clients are idiots - they want their money now and dont
understand you represent them in a lawsuit that could take
years - of course by the time you and medicare get your
shares, they dont get much anyway. Some of the clients
forget who you are, lie in their depositions, accuse you of
misconduct, etc. etc. Half of them dont even have a real
case, but you keep them in case you can get them some money
from the global settlement anyway.
Other Plaintiffs attorneys suck - they all want your cases
as referrals and give you a crappy share in return plus you
still have to deal with the stupid clients! the PSC members
are all greedy as hell, taking percentages of your fee even
when they do nothing, or they delay the litigation for
years, settle their own cases in leave you in the lurch -
thanks a lot! Another group of plaintiff attorneys are
blowhards that talk a lot and say nothing, offer nothing,
give nothing. Most of them think they are smarter than they
really are. A bunch of the really stupid ones nag about
some stupid peripheral case they have that doesnt even
revolve around the signature injury like they've found some
new amazing adverse event, but in truth their case lacks any
scientific merit whatsoever.
Defense attorneys - these men and women are truly whores -
even when their stupid client has done something incredibly
wrong, they pester you about fact sheet deficiencies and
move to have your case dismissed, necessitating a $2,000
trip to podunk iowa or some other MDL court to explain to
some disinterested or hostile federal judge why the defense
argument violates the FRCP.
Federal Judges - the ones that oversee MDLs - generally
think the plaintiffs are full of BS and ramrod some crappy
settlement on everyone (except the PSC) and completely
ignore the possibility that some plaintiffs have meritorious
claims.
Defendants - look, these big corporate defendants dont all
do wrong, but some of them do. The ones that do wrong are
protected by the ones who dont, who are afraid they'll get
sued someday. Ever notice how its the same bad companies
sued over and over? The execs at those companies should go
to jail, but do you think the republican administration is
going to arrest their corporate sponsors? In the Middle
Ages, ken lay would have been put to death for what he did
(at least there's some justice there). There are people at
Wyeth, Bayer, Merck, GM, etc. who should be in jail and not
getting multimillion dollar bonuses so they can take their
families on vacation to the Caymans. You get them in depos
and they lie through their teeth and they never really pay
the price for their misconduct.
UGGGGGGHHH - I hate these people and I hate this business.

Posts on this thread, including this one

Being a Mass Tort Attorney Sucks, 12/20/06, by Withheld HAHAHA.

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