Post: Franceschi's Nightmare
Posted by Prof. Hardy Parkerson, J.D. on 11/08/10
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At 57 Fed. 3d at 828,
A Federal case of recent date,
Franceschi, Bar Number 112893.
Went to court and made his plea.
When he arrived in city court,
To the Commissioner he did report;
And when the Judge asked, "How'd you arrive?"
Franceschi replied that he did drive;
But sensing he was in a bind,
He pled the Fifth, which came to mind;
And smelling trouble, Franceschi moved
To have the sitting Judge recused.
Whereupon the Judge did say,
"Let a bench warrant issue this very day!
For your license has been suspended,
And your freedom now is ended."
Franceschi tried to write a check
To post a bond to save his neck;
To which the Judge said in a dash,
"We don't take checks, you must pay cash."
And so arose Franceschi's hackles,
As they led him away to jail in shackels.
With Franceschi things weren't going well,
And so he spent the night in jail;
And though in jail he wasn't singin',
Franceschi came out of jail a-swingin'.
He filed a suit that very night
For violation of his Civil Rights.
He sued 'em all to make ' em pay.
"What goes 'round comes 'round," he'd say.
And through the courts his case made way,
Until it was dismissed one day.
Franceschi couldn't clear his name,
For he had failed to state a claim.
For to do as he pleases a judge is free,
For he has judicial immunity.
And since he'd failed to maintain his pleas,
Franceschi was cast for attorney fees.'
Which really made Franceschi holler,
For they were over ten thousand dollars.
Franceschi said, "I'll prevail still,
And to the Ninth Circuit I shall appeal."
But at the Ninth Circuit he argued and squirmed,
Only to have the decision affirmed.
The Ninth dismissed his appeal like a breeze,
And cast Franceschi for more attorney fees;
And what a blow poor Franceschi was handed,
When for the fixing of fees his case was remanded!
-by hardy parkerson, j.d.
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- Franceschi's Nightmare, 11/08/10, by Prof. Hardy Parkerson, J.D..